MOVING DAY TODAY

We live on campus right now, an easy stroll to both Robert's office and mine. We can wait 7 minutes before work or school starts, and then roll out of bed. There are deer, quails, bluejays, squirrels, and raccoons surrounding us. They get musical on us. We have great neighbors. I can 'ooh' and 'aah' over the neighbors' babies and kids, and they don't mind so much. So why move?

The rent. The rent has gotten ridiculous in the past year (up to $1,301 now) and they're raising the cost again in July 2010 to $1,400 or close to that. We still have to pay for PG&E and the poor insulation means I have to keep the heater on most of the day and the night. Or I walk around with pajamas, a robe, and a fuzzy blanket on. Really, it's a great place - so spacious! But we have got to find a new place so we can redirect some of the money towards other things.

Like Robert's classes for example. He'll start attending Cabrillo College this fall to take pre-requisite courses for a Physical Therapy degree in the future. But I'll let him tell you about that. We're very excited!

So the new place we're moving to: a really "cozy" apartment in the Seabright area. We picked it because it's definitely within our housing budget, and utilities are included. What's fun though -- and this was actually a factor of our standards for the new place -- is it's close to the Pacific Edge climbing gym! (I like to tell people this at the gym.) Robert describes our new place as "mostly a kitchen" which was also a big factor, actually! The predicament is where to station our office desk. But other than that, it's wonderful, and we're looking forward to making it work!

In a way, it's an answered prayer to our hope for destuffifying. (My mom-in-love simply calls it destuffing, which is actually better and shorter, but Robert and I like to keep it cooky and complicated.) We are learning to let go of 'things'. I am such a sentimental sap and want to keep everything, but I can't. Not at this place. And we can't just store everything at our parents' house, hehe. So we'll see how much we can destuffify!

A list of things we'll have to buy as necessities: curtains and curtain rods (for more privacy) and wood (to build more storage shelves). We'll post up before and after photos on another blog entry! We're just waiting for the key!

Dear Koshland house, Thank you for hosting us for a year and a half. We really were very fortunate to have been able to live here and host so many people as well! We even fit as much as 9 people sleeping over with you! Thank you for letting us sing karaoke here and experimenting in your kitchen. Thank you for hearing us out through our heated discussions and our making-up in our first year of marriage. Thank you for keeping us dry and warm. We will never forget having lived here. We met wonderful neighbors who are now our friends. I will miss you. With love, Jimi

The ARHAIKU Series: Pain in Poetry

Welcome to the Arhaiku ("Aray ko") Series: Pain in Poetry.

In the Filipino language, 'aray ko' expresses our pain. Its English equivalent is 'ouch'. One dawn, as I laid in bed waiting for my alarm clock to go off, I had a sudden burst of creative silliness. And here is the result: writing haikus to share painful experiences. A haiku is a Japanese poem that has three lines. Each line has a designated number of syllables: 5-7-5. It is usually written in present tense to describe the moment. It is also traditionally about nature. I diverge from the last two standards (at times), or at least I try my best to follow the present tense standard. And the nature part...well, we could say that pain is natural, and my body is part of nature. So I suppose I'm not that off!

I hope you enjoy reading--maybe 'enjoy' is not the right word. Because then you'd be sadistic! But I guess what I mean to say is: I hope the few seconds you take to read the poem are not wasted seconds.

Pain in Poetry: Arhaiku 1
Bowlful of water
boiled perfectly to spill. Burn
my young lap and legs.
Pain: February 2009
Poetry: written on 12/09/09

Pain in Poetry: Arhaiku 2
Hunger blinds reason
but does not dull the knife so
finger gushes red
Pain: October 2008
Poetry: written on 12/11/09

Pain in Poetry: Arhaiku 3
Dancing to The Cure
brings heat. Shirt comes off, finger
pulls, tears right ripple
Pain: December 2009
Poetry: written on 12/11/09

Our 1st justified purchase...

...in the "it's-really-okay-to-buy-this" sense because: it's our present for a 67-year old woman through The Christmas Project organization!



We hope she likes her VERY CHERRY lipstick, golden tones eyeshadow, and blush/face powder in a handy make-up bag. =)

How I won the $25 gift card

Here goes :)

Fasting and Destuffifying

A weekend before Thanksgiving, Robert and I stopped by Target to use my $25 gift card I won from a dance contest. Well, well, well. We walked out with just a little over $100 of merchandise, paid for, of course. We got the UP movie dvd, a couple pair of pants, a couple of shirts, and three presents for other people. We managed to justify all of our purchases!

BUT with the hype and frenzy over the soon-to-come Black Friday, I keep remembering about how a couple years ago, I heard of families in tents or sleeping bags, lined up outside the locked doors of a store, having their Thanksgiving dinner! My jaw dropped. And then there were news stories about people dying from being trampled over as soon as the store's doors opened. I got livid.

Since 2006 when I came back from my volunteer trip from the Philippines working for World Vision among former squatters, I had made the decision not to spend too much money on "wants"--to be conscientious not only of my spending, but of my living in general.

Of my loving.

I just fell in love with the people I met because they loved me so well. It tears me up inside knowing that I participate in the institutions that reproduce poverty and further widen inequalities. Coming back to the US was such a...difficulty is an understatement. I cried all the time in front of my meals, cried sleeping on my warm bed, cried remembering everything my host family and neighbors did not have. It wasn't guilt. It was closer to anger. But it was definitely also deep sorrow.

But I was not without hope. Geez, it was hope that kept me going!

I take Isaiah 58 to heart because it changed me. I learned a whole lot more about God's heart for the poor and for justice. Not just about righteousness, and how sinners will face justice and all that self-focused stuff. I mean JUSTICE, like social justice, economic justice, racial justice, ALL that wonderful goodness. (Robert taught me more about liberation theology.) My "church" as a little kid and throughout my teenage years did NOT teach me that about God. I only got the version of her that cares about sin management. (Yes, I said 'her'. I believe that God is not confined to being a man or a father. I also only got the version that God is male.) Anyway, I knew back then that it was good to help out the poor because they are in need, but that "discourse" only made me think about helping in the personal sense. Yes, it's important, no doubt. But I learned from Isaiah 58 that helping out the poor also includes being subversive about structures that keep people poor and oppressed.

SUBVERSIVE. I like that word. It's what my grad school cohort members might call 'sexy'.

So the thing is, I still haven't stopped crying over remembering my host family and neighbors. I still cry at seeing it happen, even if just from time to time. But being in a society that talks about retail therapy and worships sales and BOGO 1/2 off, well, let's just say I learned to shop well. Most of what I own are hand-me-downs and thrift store finds. Some are clearance sale items. I'm proud of that, but as of late, I have been feeling VERY STUFFED up. (Not just in the cold-stuffed-up sense.) But feeling very bogged down.

My grandma has a good way of saying it. What would you really only carry with you if it's flooded or if the house is burning? And my grandma lived those experiences. She had her house flooded up so many times and her house as a young woman was burned down. Needless to say, she keeps very little stuff. And most of what she does have are presents. And most of what she does buy, she gives away.

So Robert and I are FASTING.
We are also DESTUFFIFYING. (We want to get credit if this word ever gets around! Hehe)

Below are our strategies to FAST and to DESTUFFIFY:
1. We decided we want to live in a smaller place (1BR/studio) so not only would we save money but that we would stop from accumulating so much more things because we don't have that much space to start with!
2. Destuffifying for us means selling/giving away a lot of our stuff. Just last night, we went through all of our books and we had such a hard time deciding which to keep and which to not. So some of our friends and family members will get a book-present and a note that says: "We want you to have this book. We're so attached to our books, but we wanted a gift that was also a sacrifice as a part of our effort to let go." (Something like that, but more eloquent.)
3. Giving presents to each other in affection will include only: cooking for each other, or eating at a moderately-priced home-feel restaurant.
4. Asking our families and friends to keep in mind our "fasting and destuffifying" plan so if they feel inclined to give us presents, we will encourage: cash, food, or to sponsor a cause we believe in.
5. We are not buying anything for a year. (Our end date will be the week before Thanksgiving in 2010.) We did, however, already make three exceptions for books: the 3rd books to Abarat and The Mysterious Benedict Society, and one Yoder (theology) book. [We will still, however, buy toilet paper, paper towel, and other similar household needs. We also made allowances for curtains and an outdoor storage closet in case our next apartment is super small.]

I will update the blog as we proceed with our strategies. (As well as other fun stories, photos, or videos.)
IF you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please leave comments, and I will respond as soon as I can.
IF you decide to join us in our efforts to do this, I would love to know! Adventure loves company! Let's learn together.

By the way, I did fast-for-a-year (no buying) deal in 2005 (before I left for the volunteer trip). It went pretty well, and I just made an allowance for buying new underwear (I had gained some weight) and a couple of interview clothes (I needed professional-looking ones for my job hunt). But it'll be different somehow this time around because I'm married and I'm in Santa Cruz (I still feel like a newb here).

It's always important to remember that we are fasting-and-destuffifying out of LOVE and HOPE for JUSTICE. What we are doing is ultimately very personal, to continue to change our hearts, minds, and behavior...but we will continue to look for ways to seek for change at the institutional level.

Reflections on El Salvador, Thanksgiving, and Black Friday

From Democracy Now!
http://www.democracynow.org/2009/11/20/blase

I interviewed Carolina F. two weeks ago for my Ethnography graduate class in Sociology. What a trip for myself and for her (I'm sure) to talk about her own experiences as a young adult during those tumultuous times. She was part of a folk group that sang songs the oppressive military dictatorship labeled as 'Communist' so their singing group was targeted. The leader of the folk group was captured and tortured as a "lesson to learn" for the community. Carolina is such a strong woman, with beautiful, strong jaws. At the end of the interview, she sang two songs from those times. What an honor and privilege for me.

Another thing:
Thanksgiving is coming up, and as it is wrapped up (in my family anyway) in prayer and praises to God, my parents did not know that 'white people' crossed borders to get to this continent. My parents did not know about the indigenous natives, and the horrible experiences they have been put through by colonization. I know it's such a bleak story for what's supposedly a warm holiday, but it's the truth.

I will still take this time to remember what I am thankful for, alongside my family and relatives. I will also offer a moment to remember the dead and the suffering.
I will not celebrate the capitalistic Black Friday.
I will buy nothing, but make some things happen! =)

Because keeping joy and pursuing peace makes room for being angry at injustice and compassion for those in pain.

Some reflection music provided by Chris Ian V.

I climbed my first boulder rated V3!

I just wanted to mark this day! Especially because my fingers are still hurting as I type this. But YEAH! What a thrill! I started the puzzle last week, and then I solved it this week. I did a victory dance right after, and Robert said the dance reminded him of the dance I did with Sarah (which is the video I had posted yesterday). WOOHOO!

Too bad we don't have a video of it to post. But I'll post a happy picture up. Yay!

Everytime I start writing on this blog, I freak out.

That's why this would be my first post.
And I don't even know where to start!

Maybe, for now, I can just put a video that makes me happy.




Sarah and I were just getting ready to hike a little over 9 miles. In the mountains. Maybe we should have reserved our energy, but how can I refuse a dance?

There.
That wasn't so bad...